Woman without kids
childless, childfree childless by circumstance childless not by choice infertile involuntarily childless something else or just me... However you describe yourself...
However got you here... Not being a mum really bruised your heart, in fact, it probably broke it. We get it. We live with similar heartache. Yet, here we are... crafting humble, and sometimes joyful lives without kids. Supports women, who had hoped to be mothers, to grieve the loss of motherhood, and craft lives of connection, meaning and joy.
We hold space for you as you learn to flourish as an older childless woman. WE OFFER
Individual Sessions (Counselling & Mentoring) Individual Programs with Support Group Programs and Workshops Professional Training & Consultation Public Speaking, Media, Podcasts & Publishing Other (as requested) UNDERSTANDING INVOLUNTARY CHILDLESSNESS Coming to terms with permanent involuntary childlessness can be really hard. "The transition to non-parenthood is as important and demanding as the more traditional transition to parenthood" Matthews and Matthews, 1986 We may live with the scars of our lost children for the rest of our lives, or it might become a thing of the past. Wherever our grief lands, we can craft generative lives of connection, meaning and joy. Involuntary childlessness lies at the cultural intersection of grief illiteracy, the individual choice narrative, pro natalism and anti natalism. “Pronatalism expects and presumes that all women will be mothers, and stereotypes, stigmatizes and excludes those who fail to conform.” Melissa Graham, La Trobe Uni We hear this in comments that privilege parenting experiences, perspectives and qualities over the childless. Womanhood is equated with motherhood, and a fulfilling life without children is unimaginable. "The cultural and social responses to our childlessness can bruise our already broken hearts." Sarah Roberts, Founder, The Empty Cradle The social pruning of parenthood means we can be de-prioritized in social networks. We can be told we can "mother in other ways", centering parenting status in all creativity, generativity and nurturing. Broadly defining "mothering" can hide our very real losses. Older childless women are culturally stigmatized and stereotyped. Whilst pro-natalism can exalt parenthood, anti-natalism can de-value it and pathologize our desire for motherhood. The dominance of the individual choice narrative assumes that all women without children, are childless by choice, or that our childlessness is fixable. When it's not it can feel like it's our fault. Grief-illiteracy disenfranchises our grief. We can be told we haven't lost anything, (just our expectations) we should have tried harder (blaming us) we should just adopt (like it's that's simple) we lack ambition and we're not good feminists, (devaluing our desire for mothering) we're victims of social conditioning, (we played with dolls right?) or, our childlessness is better for the planet, (the absence of our children will save the Amazon?) These perspectives can lead to empathic failure by friends and family, in social spaces, workplaces, social policy, the media and cultural discourses. We are expected to deal with it privately and just "get over it". We don't fit the cultural narratives and we become objects of pity, rather than respect. Our stories don't seem to fit anywhere. We aren't allowed to be fully human, in all our complexity, brokenness and beauty. We retreat into silence, invisibility and often shame, leaving us isolated, unsupported and socially excluded. There is another way. This is why we need each other. COME, JOIN US AS WE MAKE SENSE OF THIS TOGETHER. CONNECTING WITH US
IS ONE OF THE FEW PUBLIC VOICES REPRESENTING THE PERMANENT INVOLUNTARILY CHILDLESS LIVED EXPERIENCE.
MEDIA, PODCASTS, PUBLIC SPEAKING, PUBLISHING SPECIALIST TOPICS: Childless not by choice perspective on: Population and social policy Childlessness by circumstance and infertility Psychological care during and following fertility treatment Health and wellbeing of involuntary childless people Permanent involuntary childlessness Involuntary childlessness grief and renewal Life as an older, childless woman Stigma, social inclusion and exclusion Microaggressions toward involuntary childless people Workplaces and ageing without children Research and public policy Others on request ARE YOU INCLUSIVE OF INVOLUNTARY CHILDLESS PEOPLE? When you engage with others, do you assume they are either parents or childfree by choice? If so, you might be excluding the lived experience of up to 15-18% of the adult population. That's actually a lot! We are daughters, sisters, friends and colleagues. You might be unintentionally triggering our grief and trauma, or implementing policies based on stigma and stereotypes that exclude us. You might be wondering how to support us better. PLEASE REACH OUT. HAS BEEN FEATURED IN:
Come, join us as we travel this path together...
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What our clients are saying...Finding The Empty Cradle was such a relief. The day I walked out of the IVF clinic, I was shattered, numb, I felt totally alone. No one around understood what I was going through. Talking to Sarah helped me understand that I was in deep grief, how to handle it and most importantly, that my reactions were normal. |
Reach out todayWe’d love to talk with you
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