Childless, childless not by choice, infertile, childless by circumstance, childfree, involuntarily childless, mature woman without kids?
However you describe yourself...
However got you here...
Not being a mum really bruised your heart,
in fact, it probably broke it.
We get it.
We live with similar heartache.
Yet, here we are...
crafting humble, and sometimes joyful lives,
Supports women who had hoped to be mothers, it didn’t happen, and we are crafting lives as mature women without children.
Individual Sessions (Counselling & Mentoring)
Individual Programs with Support
Media, Podcasts & Publishing
Other as requested
UNDERSTANDING INVOLUNTARY CHILDLESSNESS
Coming to terms with permanent involuntary childlessness can be really hard.
"The transition to non-parenthood is as important and demanding as the more traditional transition to parenthood"
Matthews and Matthews, 1986
We may live with the scars of our lost children for the rest of our lives, or it might become a thing of the past. Wherever our grief lands, we can all craft generative lives of meaning, connection and joy.
Involuntary childlessness lies at the cultural intersection of pronatalism, the choice narrative, anti-natalism and grief phobia.
“Pronatalism expects and presumes that all women will be mothers, and stereotypes, stigmatizes and excludes those who fail to conform.”
Melissa Graham, La Trobe Uni
We hear this in comments that privilege parenting experiences, perspectives and qualities over the childless. Womanhood is equated with motherhood, and a fulfilling life without children is unimaginable. Being told we can "mother in other ways", can minimize our losses and the social pruning of parenthood means we can be de-prioritized in social networks.
“The dominance of the choice narrative assumes that all women without children are childless by choice. Anti-natalism can idealize the childfree life whilst denying the benefits of parenthood. Combined with grief phobia, it can stereotype, disenfranchise and pathologize the desire for motherhood and childlessness grief."
Sarah Roberts, Founder, The Empty Cradle
We can be told we haven't lost anything, (just our expectations), or we're victims of social conditioning (we played with dolls), or it's better for the planet (the absence of our children will save the Amazon?).
These perspectives can lead to empathic failure by friends and family, in social spaces, workplaces, social policy, the media and cultural discourses.
We are expected to deal with it privately and just "get over it".
We don't fit the cultural narratives, as we are neither mothers nor childfree by choice.
We become objects of pity, rather than respect, and our stories don't quite fit anywhere.
We retreat into silence, invisibility and often shame, which can leave us isolated, unsupported and socially excluded.
This is why we need each other.
COME, JOIN US
LET'S MAKE SENSE OF THIS TOGETHER.
CONNECTING WITH US
IS ONE OF THE FEW PUBLIC VOICES REPRESENTING THE PERMANENT INVOLUNTARILY CHILDLESS LIVED EXPERIENCE.
MEDIA, PODCASTS, PUBLIC SPEAKING, PUBLISHING
Childless not by choice perspective on:
Population and social policy
Childlessness by circumstance and infertility
Psychological care during and following ART
Health and well being of involuntary childless people
Permanent involuntary childlessness
Involuntary childlessness grief and renewal
Stigma, social inclusion and exclusion
Microaggressions toward involuntary childless people
Workplaces and ageing without children
Research and public policy
Others on request
ARE YOU INCLUSIVE OF INVOLUNTARY CHILDLESS PEOPLE?
When you engage with others, do you assume they are either parents or childfree by choice?
If so, you might be excluding the lived experience of up to 15-18% of the adult population.
That's actually a lot!
We are daughters, sisters, friends and colleagues.
You might be unintentionally triggering our grief and trauma, or implementing policies based on stigma and stereotypes that exclude us.
You might be wondering how to support us better.
PLEASE REACH OUT.
HAS BEEN FEATURED IN:
Come, join us as we travel this path together...
What our clients are saying...
Finding The Empty Cradle was such a relief. The day I walked out of the IVF clinic, I was shattered, numb, I felt totally alone. No one around understood what I was going through. Talking to Sarah helped me understand that I was in deep grief, how to handle it and most importantly, that my reactions were normal.
Reach out today
We’d love to talk with you
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Website by A Little Designer
Website by A Little Designer